Thursday, April 10, 2008

5 Wine Bloggers Who Should Just Give Up

We all know how wonderful and important the wine blogs of the world are. Just ask Tom, he of the traffic-inducing AWBA programme! Without wine blogs, what would we write about here on this here blog?

But let's be honest -- there are a lot of hideous blogs out there -- blogs that despite the apparent passion and desire (for what, we're not always sure) of their authors, just don't work. They are useless, frivolous and not worth the time put into them.

So today Wine-ing 2.0 does all you wine bloggers a service, for free. Today, we identify 5 bloggers who should just give up and leave the wine blogging to those of us with actual talent and knowledge.

Please give up #1: Basic Juice
Mr. Jarvis, you were once a leader in wine blogging circles, but your site has fallen on hard times. Maybe it's because you live in Utah and can't actually buy any wine there. Maybe it's that you've taken third, forth and fifth wives in recent months. Or perhaps you were affected by the recent raids on Mormon compounds. Please shut your blog down, you filthy Old World wine-loving polygamist.

Please give up #2: REthink Wine Blog
Paul, you seem like a nice enough guy. And your blog would actually be useful if winery owners were smart enough to pay attention. But, we'd like you to quit acting like the "Dad" of the wine blogging world. Take a joke and lighten up, okay? And remember, you haven't won an AWBA, have you? Time for a career change. This one just isn't working out for you.

Please give up #3: The Pour
Mr. Asimov, you are so above all of this throw-up writing. We enjoy your weekly column (even if we get sick of hearing about your family, karate class and nick-named tasting group.) Why would you lower yourself to blogging? Is it about ego and a shameless need to be in the spotlight? Stick to print. Bloggers are losers and you aren't one. Please leave blogging immediately.

Please give up #4: Stormhoek
Do I even need to explain this one? The power of wine blogging in action! The next time any of you bloggers think you're important or making an impact, remember Stormhoek. Actually, maybe they've already given up. Friggin' quitters.

Please give up #5:
Okay, let me get this straight. Daddy's little girl has a job at Wine Enthusiast, but isn't a good enough writer to actually write for them, so we need to read her drivel online. Is that right? Boy, you've got to be one shitty writer if your daddy is the boss and you still can't get paid for doing it. And, StrumErika...are you dyslexic? Nice blog name, resoL.

Honorable mention: She Who Shall Not Be Named
There is one more blog/vlog that we'd love to see shut its doors forever, but we dare not mention the author's name here. Apparently, there are several people who read this blog who take themselves way too seriously and cannot take a joke. The last time She Who Shall Not Be Named was named in a post, there was uproar amongst those uptight few (see #2 above). We'd like She Who Shall Not Be Named to shut down her blog, but you'll never know who she is.

That's it for today folks. Check back next week when we investigate the five wine blogs that are most likely written by children.


el jefe said...

poop. I was hoping for a vacation.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Over Extracted is getting soft, pandering to the whiny masses who had lodged complaints. I think someone's credibility has just taken a major hit. If you can't hack the pressure, then maybe you should step down. Otherwise, speak your mind fully and hold nothing back.

Shannon B. said...

Heh, there was an article today in the Wall Street Journal about Dooce and how she handles criticism and being part of the Internet's top 100 bloggers.

Anyway, I think you should just say her name and not hold back, you don't win friends for blogging or being famous and when you live somewhat publicly, you have to expect backlash and people passing judgment calls. So, say it, write it, scream it out loud.

Life is much more interesting when people speak up :D

joel said...

"Otherwise, speak your mind fully and hold nothing back.

Says the brave anonymous commenter...


Paul Mabray said...

Dad here (albeit a young one) - thank god I didn't give up my day job and become a full time blogger - and I had such high hopes that is where I'd make my fortune. Now my dreams are shattered. LOL.

Over Extracted said...

Or MAYBE I was poking fun at all the whining cry babies who can't take a joke.

And who clearly can't take a joke this time around either.

Sad. Very sad.

Over Extracted said...

Paul: Sorry to shatter your dreams. I'm sure you can get a job at Sebastiani in the tasting room. They are hiring.

Paul Mabray said...

@over_extracted - I don't think they'd take me now that have been blacklisted as a blogger.

Anonymous said...

Or maybe Over Extracted is the one who can't take a joke.

Over Extracted said...

You're right. It is clear that I am incapable of humor. You caught me.

Thank you for your diligence and for spending way too much time reading this blog.

Go back to your D&D game.

Anonymous said...

Touchy touchy

Strumerika said...

Looks like I've arrived. All press is good press and I'm proud to be associated with those on this list.

Guess I'll have to keep begging the magazine to let me write for them since this whole blog gig I've been working on is in shambles.


johng said...

quaffability is another one that should hang up his keyboard.

Anonymous said...

I think Strumerika is a very witty and wonderful writer. I read her blog every time she puts up a new post and she doesn't waste time mocking people. She's too intelligent for that.

And she's pretty good lookin too ;-)

Anonymous said...

Your blog is sort of like a wine-focused version of sportsblog Kissing Suzy Kolber ( the difference is that KSK is actually funny, but your blog is just kind of lame. Still, I think there is some value here and I have continued to read your blog for what it's worth. That said, if I were you, I wouldn't put myself out there dissing other people out there who operate wine-related blogs, who enjoy to write about something for which they are passionate. You may end up disenfranchising your readers.

I support StrumErika as well and I enjoy reading her blog... your comments on her are simply unnecessary and actually detract from any legitimacy that you may have had previously.

In this post, you're not critiquing a restaurant or a bottle of wine but rather just talking sh*t about people themselves. Are you still in high school? Do you want me to sign your yearbook? Are your parents aware they missed your last parent-teacher conference? Do you need me to stop by the mini-mart to pick you up a six-pack of miller lite? Do you want to come over and watch MadTV on Saturday night, until SNL comes on at 11:30????

See? We can all talk negatively about people, because it's easy. Instead, you should try to focus on improving the quality of the content in your posts -- and it's possible to remain humorous at the same time -- without reverting to grade-school smack-talk tactics.

Guess I just expected a little more from this blog...

Drink, Memory said...

This is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. I don't know which is worse: the blog itself, the people leaving comments, the time and effort that went into it all, or the fact that I am commenting right now about the whole thing. I must be drunk right now. Oh yea, yea. I definitely am.

Sasha said...

dude you're waisted! lolz

rad post btw.

Jathan said...

You guys forgot Retard posts like once a holiday and expects people to keep reading his blog, which was rubbish to start with. I mean, is this guy dyslexic or what? I know a two year old that is more articulate.

anything but... said...

are you guys running out of steam?

maybe it should be 6 blogs/8 bloggers who should just give up

Anonymous said...

Are you guys off the air now?

anything but CA said...

...dead as a door nail

Anonymous said...

Burgundy wine
(French: Bourgogne or Vin de Bourgogne) is wine made in the Burgundy region in eastern France.[1] The most famous wines produced here - those commonly referred to as Burgundies - are red wines made from Pinot Noir grapes or white wines made from Chardonnay grapes. Red and white wines are also made from other grape varieties, such as Gamay and Aligoté respectively. Small amounts of rosé and sparkling wine are also produced in the region. Chardonnay-dominated Chablis and Gamay-dominated Beaujolais are formally part of Burgundy wine region, but wines from those subregions are usually referred to by their own names rather than as "Burgundy wines".

Burgundy has a higher number of Appellation d'origine contrôlées (AOCs) than any other French region, and is often seen as the most terroir-conscious of the French wine regions. The various Burgundy AOCs are classified from carefully delineated Grand Cru vineyards down to more non-specific regional appellations. The practice of delineating vineyards by their terroir in Burgundy go back to Medieval times, when various monasteries played a key role in developing the Burgundy wine industry. The appellations of Burgundy (not including Chablis).

Overview in the middle, the southern part to the left, and the northern part to the right. The Burgundy region runs from Auxerre in the north down to Mâcon in the south, or down to Lyon if the Beaujolais area is included as part of Burgundy. Chablis, a white wine made from Chardonnay grapes, is produced in the area around Auxerre. Other smaller appellations near to Chablis include Irancy, which produces red wines and Saint-Bris, which produces white wines from Sauvignon Blanc. Some way south of Chablis is the Côte d'Or, where Burgundy's most famous and most expensive wines originate, and where all Grand Cru vineyards of Burgundy (except for Chablis Grand Cru) are situated. The Côte d'Or itself is split into two parts: the Côte de Nuits which starts just south of Dijon and runs till Corgoloin, a few kilometers south of the town of Nuits-Saint-Georges, and the Côte de Beaune which starts at Ladoix and ends at Dezize-les-Maranges. The wine-growing part of this area in the heart of Burgundy is just 40 kilometres (25 mi) long, and in most places less than 2 kilometres (1.2 mi) wide. The area is made up of tiny villages surrounded by a combination of flat and sloped vineyards on the eastern side of a hilly region, providing some rain and weather shelter from the prevailing westerly winds. T

he best wines - from "Grand Cru" vineyards - of this region are usually grown from the middle and higher part of the slopes, where the vineyards have the most exposure to sunshine and the best drainage, while the "Premier Cru" come from a little less favourably exposed slopes. The relatively ordinary "Village" wines are produced from the flat territory nearer the villages. The Côte de Nuits contains 24 out of the 25 red Grand Cru appellations in Burgundy, while all of the region's white Grand Crus are located in the Côte de Beaune. This is explained by the presence of different soils, which favour Pinot Noir and Chardonnay respectively. Further south is the Côte Chalonnaise, where again a mix of mostly red and white wines are produced, although the appellations found here such as Mercurey, Rully and Givry are less well known than their counterparts in the Côte d'Or. Below the Côte Chalonnaise is the Mâconnais region, known for producing large quantities of easy-drinking and more affordable white wine. Further south again is the Beaujolais region, famous for fruity red wines made from Gamay. Burgundy experiences a continental climate characterized by very cold winters and hot summers. The weather is very unpredictable with rains, hail, and frost all possible around harvest time. Because of this climate, there is a lot of variation between vintages from Burgundy. You can find more info at:

Anonymous said...

thanks for share with us ,, thanks

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