Saturday, March 29, 2008

Budo Kun Escapes Police Custody

In handcuffs, humming Bitter Wine by Bon Jovi, Budo Kun wore a poker face, showing no remorse for his actions as he stepped out of the police car. Stumbling across the sidewalk into a throng of Critter supporters holding signs saying, "Bestiality is Beautiful" and "Not All Men Like Bush".

Budo Kun looked to the crowd with a single tear rolling down his cheek he screamed, "I am proud to love furries!". And with inhuman strength, he broke free from his shackles. Kicking the police officer's ankle with his stubby foot, Bodo Kun scuttled through the crowd, down Oak Street and into a taxi.

"It was incredible. He's dreamy. I mean, it was like, oh my god, so cool how he broke free from those metal rings and all. He's just so hot!" reported cow from Prairie Estate Winery.

Admitting their powerlessness to the press, the police immediately called in for military reinforcements.

"This guy is no match for us. Clearly, his sexual prowess is helping in some way that we have yet to understand," said Police Office Russel Jerk.

Two hours later, our reporter Sandy Saucepot called in with this report, "Flabby Chard, we're sending you a picture of what appears to be Budo Kun with a gun at the wharf. We are told by the National Guard that he is holding at least one hostage, but confirmation has not been given as of yet. "


Sasha said...

HA! budo kun is wild-nuts like that. he was at a party of mine and, like, the next day my apartment was a swirling vortex of naked chicks. it was awesome. he is totally invited back if he ever gets out of this crazyness that he's in now.

Joe Roberts, CSW said...

Help! I'm really scared!

This is better than that Nixon Escapes storyline in The Onion years ago...!

Pamela said...

Rumor has it that Budo's hav'n a part-ee now that he is a convict and we are all invited!

Seacrest, out! said...

The party is raging. No sign of Budo, but so far I've spotted Paris, LiLo and Winona Ryder who's sporting a "Free Budo" t-shirt she picked up at retailer Kitson's Alcatraz gifting suite.

DJ Sam Ronson is spinning tunes as all rock the night, drinking %@#$! donated by winery Twisted Oak.

Catie said...

Psst...I'll sell you the rights to the new story about Budo Kun if you promise not to tell anyone. You might want to hurry because the National Enquirer wants it real bad. People Mag is willing to pay me lots for the photos.