Sunday, March 30, 2008
US Government set to launch new Image based labeling laws
According to inside sources the US government, in a surprising show of bureaucracy, has decided to move away from the standard wine labeling system currently used to an image based system. Starting in early 2009, all labels will no longer be allowed to use text to describe the wine, or it's health warnings but rather an elaborate set of what can only be called pictographs to communicate with the customer. "We've found that most people after consuming a bottle or two of wine can't read anyways" stated FDA pleaby Mike (I have a worthless art degree) Johnson.
Symbols will include pictures of pregnant ladies, with red bars across their bellies, and an image of a car pile up with a question mark next to it. "We really hope that people have fun with these new images, I mean really who doesn't know they shouldn't drink and drive? In the end we hope these images liven up parties with their charade like qualities" added Mike.
In addition to warning labels, all text will also be removed from the description on the label to allow more people access to the wineries suggestions of food pairings. "If you don't speaky the English, you can't properly pair your wine with food by using today's labels. I mean really all immigrants should be able to find the right Pinot to go with their tacos!" continued Mike, "It's about democracy of the senses" No immigrants were available for comment, though various hand gestures we're spotted.
Wineries responded with a pictograph laced petition to the FDA, that due to it's graphic nature can not be shown on this site.