I follow a great many of you whiners on Twitter, so I'm well aware that you think this blog has gone the way of Tom Wark's hair and Gary Vaynerchuck's charm. Yet again, the idiots in the whine blogging community are just showing their ignorance.
You see, I had to fire a couple of our writers. Frankly, they didn't have the stomachs for this kind of work.
Can I do this alone? Of course. A trained monkey can maintain a blog. Have you ever seen Passionate Foodie? Point made.
And I will do it alone if I have to, with the help of the morons that remain on our staff here at Wine-ing 2.0 HQ. But, I know that many of you are looking for a way to poke fun at the very community you've helped build and circle jerk with regularly.
Want to know who I am first? I am your father. I am your daddy. Never forget it.
But, before you apply via email, have answers to the following questions ready:
- Can you write? I mean in complete sentences. Using words.
- Will you cry if we make fun of you? Because we will. Just a warning.
- We would prefer female staffers. Would you describe your body as "slamming" or "spammy"?
- Do you enjoy white zinfandel? If so, don't waste my time.
- Do you know how to doctor pictures to create false realities? Not that we condone such things.
- Do you like bacon? Careful, it's a trick question.
- at2 = asin(sin(lat1)*cos(d/R) + cos(lat1)*sin(d/R)*cos(θ)) and lon2 = lon1 + atan2(sin(θ)*sin(d/R)*cos(lat1), cos(d/R)−sin(lat1)*sin(lat2)), what does d/R stand for?
- Does your bra size include "double"?
- Do you want to be hated by jealous whine bloggers who can only hope to be as entertaining as you?
- Why the hell do you want this no-pay, shit job anyway?
Prepare your answers and contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org I will get back to you whenever I feel like it.